I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
