Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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