Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
