Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
