i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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