I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
