It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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