you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
