i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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