Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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