Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is the high leading the old right now
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
