She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
