Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
