And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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