Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
