white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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