why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
