I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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