I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My ass is underappreciated
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize