Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
