is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
