Already got asked if we're dating
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize