so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
