there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
