Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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