I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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