is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
