Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
