I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
