respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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