I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
