I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
