These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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