i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
