I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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