I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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