she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
