Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
