I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
