Nicole vs. Life
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There are leaves in my underwear?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
