I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
