Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize