Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
