I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
