remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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