Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
