Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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