We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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