I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
