if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I look better un-naked...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
