I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
