I am puke
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
