Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
