either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
too bad you live with your parents still
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
