I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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