my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
