Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
