I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
