Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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