i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
