i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize