I wish my penis had an off switch
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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