Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
