The maid of honor just puked.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
