so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We're too hungover to prance.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
