Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
