Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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